I decided to write this blog post as a result of feeling like utter shit one night. I’d been unwell all day, and then as soon as I started to feel better I had no idea what to do with myself. I collapsed in a heap and watched what must have been my fourth (okay, fifth) episode of “The Crown” that day before realising I’d done absolutely NOTHING that could be described as important, useful, or productive ALL DAY. I felt like such a fucking loser.

Unfortunately a day like this isn’t all that unusual for me. The past few years have been tough. I’ve been grieving, I’ve been dealing with family conflicts, I’ve been depressed, and I’ve been in and out (mostly out) of work. None of this is good for a person’s confidence.

It takes time to rebuild confidence that is true and long-lasting, but in the meantime there are little things we can do to give ourselves a bit of a boost. I was in need of one of those boosts. I was feeling too lazy to read, so I did the only thing that made sense and headed to YouTube to find somebody knowledgeable and successful to tell me what the fuck to do.

I soon realised that there is an absolute plethora of material on YouTube that deals with the issue of confidence. Clearly I was not alone. I watched a lot of videos. I hate to be negative, but most of the content I watched was a bit…meh. Even some of the well-known TED talks with millions of views left me feeling completely uninformed and uninspired.

But I did manage to find a few valuable videos. I’ve decided to share them in this post so that you can work on your confidence without having to spend hours working your way through all the not so great stuff!

So, here are…

5 Amazing YouTube Videos That Will Teach You About

Confidence!

1. Why Do Men Assume They’re So Great? 

This video from The Atlantic was such an eye-opener for me.

Us ladies are just as intelligent and competent as men are, but when it comes to confidence they’re usually way ahead of us! This video shows journalists Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, authors of The Confidence Code, discussing some of the reasons why.

This video isn’t about bashing men, it’s about showing us what we can learn from them in this area.

One statistic discussed that blew my mind was that women will generally apply for a job only if they have close to 100% of the qualities and qualifications specified in the job/person description. Men? They’ll give it a bash with just 60%. What?!! Clearly us ladies have a problem with perfectionism!

You could argue that men are a bit too confident, but the women in this video also explain that this isn’t always a bad thing, because confident people often rise to the top faster than their more competent but less confident peers. This is a bit depressing, but good to be aware of.

There is some great food for thought here!

2. The Confidence Factor

This great TEDx talk from business advisor Carol Sankar kicks off as she tells us about when she came to realise that she’d never had a female client…in ten years!

When she took steps to fix this it didn’t really work out, and she soon learned why – she wasn’t providing the women she’d been working with with help in building their confidence.

Her journey onwards revealed that lack of confidence really is what is holding so many women back, and that we really need to fix that if we want to become equal to men.

Carol explains how in order to move forward women need to know their worth, as well as learning how to seek mentorship and not just support.

3. How to Not Give a F&*k

I had to throw in a video from one of my favourite people on YouTube, Michelle of BananaBlondie108, who certainly doesn’t lack confidence!

I’m including this as more of a fun, casual video as some of the others are quite serious and/or scientific. However that doesn’t mean it isn’t useful!

It isn’t strictly about confidence, it’s about not giving a fuck what people think of you. Giving too much of a fuck about what others think is definitely a confidence-knocker for a huge number of people.

Michelle uses her usual wit to remind us that most people are too busy worrying about what others think of THEM to spend much time judging YOU. She also assures us that confidence come with age and shares what she believes to be the most tragic part of becoming a people pleaser.

This is lots of fun to watch!

4. Confidence 

This is a video from The School of Life, which is such a great YouTube channel.

This video asks “Why is confidence so easy to lack?” 

It discusses the ways in which our confidence is damaged by the ideas passed down to us by our well-meaning parents, and why school leaves many of us feeling small and unable to challenge authority.

The topic of perfectionism is brought up here too, and we are reminded that we must learn to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and keep on trying.

Understanding why we lack confidence is crucial if we want to start working on it, and this fun little animation provides great information.

Honourable Mention: The School of Life’s video Self-Esteem is absolutely fascinating. I realise that confidence and self-esteem aren’t exactly the same, but it’s well worth a watch!

5. Your body language may shape who you are 

I’d heard about this TED talk by psychologist and lecturer Amy Cuddy many times in the past. I knew roughly what it was about (power posing in order to build confidence), and to be honest I was pretty skeptical. How on Earth could it be so simple? Still, this video deserved a chance!

Cuddy explains the ways in which our minds can change the behaviour of our bodies. For example, when we feel powerless we tend to curl up and make ourselves small. But can the opposite be true? Can our bodies change our minds? Does power posing work? Cuddy arranged experiments in an effort to find out.

This question is asked not only in the context of power posing for a quick confidence boost. Cuddy wanted to know if power posing for a few minutes each day could change a person’s life long-term, in a meaningful way. The study conducted in order to find out is very interesting, but I won’t spoil it for you. You need to watch the video!

Not only is her work intriguing, but our speaker has a very unusual and emotional personal story connected to the topic. Don’t worry, the ending is a happy one!

Yes, the concept of power posing is extremely simple. But as Cuddy says, you need only your body, some privacy, and two minutes of time a day in order to do it. So surely it’s worth having a go?!

So what about you?

Do you know of any great videos (or other resources!) that can help us learn about confidence? Feel free to share in the comments!

I hope you found this post useful!

Lots of love xxx